Mr. Swineheart
Conclusion (for now.)
Date: Sat, 05 Dec 1998 18:42:18 -0500
From: "D. Hewitt" <[email protected]>
Subject: Swineheart?...
hey, we just got back from visiting friends in Caledon, and the hostess has
a sister that got married in Europe. Her new last name is Swineheart!!! NO
KIDDING!!!!!!!! I almost fell off my chair laughing!!!
Thanks Steve!!!!!
Oh, that would be Mr. Swineheart to you!!!!!
Sorry, I just couldn't help myself!!
Love
Darlene
December 13, 1998
I've been working for a while on this, what I think will be my final chapter of these Bum Ticker Pages. As the pain dulls day by day, my body (and mind) slowly continue to heal quite well. I reflect back on the entire experience and think it's time to put this public part of my journal to rest. Unless there is some kind of unexpected setback, I feel the interesting and tough part of the story has been told. I'm not sure, but I don't think there's much else to say. I may continue to post to my web page the heart related e-mails that I receive. They may be relevant to other heart patients (with the odd little comment from me, of course). But that's probably about it.
I'd like to continue writing of some sort. I'll keep the journal up for myself. I'd like to help a few friends update their web pages, as that could be fun and another learning experience for me. I may also compile the e-mails received from my many cousins into a digest or newsletter of sorts that I could send to all of them so they keep track and up to date with each other's family growth and progress.
Another project would be to document my father's experiences during World War II - the concentration camps, wandering thru Europe and re-uniting with his family afterwards, coming to Canada, etc. It's quite a story and could fill a book. If I don't get it from him now it could be lost forever. That's a big project and first I'd have to get him to actually open up and talk about it with the tape recorder running.
I feel that I am well on the way to getting back to my normal life within the next month or so. My business, the music performance, family and friends. I think I will be going at it all with a slightly different approach. Well the day job for sure. The family and friends too. And hey, I'll be able to dig and plant as many trees in the front lawn as I want without Dory's fear of me dropping dead.
Discoveries
These are some of the life altering discoveries I've made as a result of this experience:
Having come close to losing our business a few times over the last seven years (due to economic conditions beyond my control) and managing to bring it around thru difficult negotiations and restructuring, has put that aspect of my life into perspective. At one point, close to a nervous breakdown, faced with the possibility that we could lose everything we'd worked for, I finally realized that it really didn't matter. I'd survive in life no matter what. I had the skills to go on and be a success at something else. Once I figured that out and was confident with myself, I had the power and energy to do what I had to do to ensure the company's survival. I try and remember that moment of realization whenever I get stressed-out.
Then being diagnosed with my condition two years ago only made me realize what was really important. I call it my "stress management program". I started to prioritize my work better and utilize my time at the office more efficiently so that I could take more time off to do the other things I like to do. (Like spending more time with my wife and dogs.) I'm taking many extended long weekends instead of going on expensive touristy vacations. Short vacations, more often. More stress management.
From: "John Lamond" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: The Bum Ticker Pages - PIG O MY HEART
Date: Fri, 4 Dec 1998 19:02:55
Hi Steve,
There is an old story in this country which hoes along the following lines.
"If you return from extended leave to find your desk in the toilet and
someone else using your office - find another job."
Just kidding they were probably just putting on a brave face so you wouldn't
worry - now you can worry your heart out - whoops bad pun.
Great to see your sounding better again.
Keep it coming
John-L, New Zealand
From: "Avery, Debora" <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: NN: The Bum Ticker Pages - PIG O MY HEART
Date: Fri, 4 Dec 1998
As I read your entries I am struck by the nakedness of some of them --
thank you.
Debbie A.
Perhaps I've been a little too open, maybe not discreet enough. I could have used phony names etc., and kept it all generic. Maybe there were too many pig puns. Oh well, too late now. It's out there for all to see, my bare-chested scar and all. No regrets. It has been a very rewarding experience that has kept me, my family and my friends distracted throughout this entire ordeal.
Date: Fri, 04 Dec 1998 10:00:28 -0500
From: "D. Hewitt" <[email protected]>
Subject: jingle...
Hey, if Dogs can have their own CD singing holiday songs, then you pigs
should have your own too!!!!
oink oink oink
oink oink oink
oink oink oink, oink oink
oink oink oink
oink oink oink oink
oink oink oink oink oink oink oink
That is jingle bells oinked out!!!!!
Love your very silly friend
Darlene!!!!!!!!
From: [email protected]
Date: Sat, 5 Dec 1998 20:53:37 EST
The longer I wait the more I can learn of what to expect.
For insurance people I have lost a bit of respect.
Ah forget the poetry... I have another date... another hospital... another
doctor.
Actually, since the insurance company vetoed University of Chicago and it's
chief surgeon doing the surgery on Dec 1. I am now going to St. Like's in
Chicago and the new date has been set for Dec 21, (Christmas in the hospital
this year) pending insurance approval. My new doctor does the Ross procedure
as part of a team with a doctor from Montana. Together they have done hundreds
of these with no complications or transfusions needed.
They are actually going to look at my "leaky" aortic valve once in there and
decide if it can be modified or repaired and put back in the pulmonary
position... I would actually end up with both my own valves... seems a little
wierd. Like shuffling body parts I guess.
Glad to hear you're feeling better... keep up the good reporting
Tim
From: "Karen Gall" <[email protected]>
Subject: Evil Elastoplast
Date: Sat, 05 Dec 1998 19:48:50 PST
Steve:
Speaking of genetics, as I think I did in the long-winded, rambling,
letter I sent to you yesterday, our genes have a real aversion to those
ever-present elastoplast bandaids. All my kids have a problem with
Elastoplast. I have always believed that elastoplast adhesive is truly
evil. When there is a reaction, it is usually far worse than the
original wound that the bandages are supposed to are supposed to protect
and heal. But who will protect us from the E-bandages? Certainly not
the health professionals...they stock the stupid things in every
hospital, dr. office and blood-sucking lab! Just thought I'd let you
know that you are not the only one in the world with that problem.
Be well,
love, (your cousin) Karen
St. Albert, Alberta
Date: Sun, 06 Dec 1998 02:45:36 -0500
From: Tessa Kimmel <[email protected]>
Subject: That Bum Ticker is now working like a pig's ass!
Hi Steve,
Finally caught up with reading your website. I gotta say that when I
read your e back to Sue and you mentioned that everything you're going
through now is better than that aneurism exploding all over the walls &
floors...I immediately had to think: yep, definitely better for you not
to explode. Then people will be tellin' you that you've spread yourself
too thin....all over hell's acre!
Ok, in all seriousness. Yep, it's a tough thing you've been thru' and
recovery is a long, tedious, frustrating myriad of good & bad days. But
even a bad day is still a good day. The fact that you're still here; can
kiss Dory, pet Scooty & Bailey-monster, eat that damn Swiss
Chalet...it's all worth it.
I'm watching 3 close friends right now fight their way back. All 3 of
you are tough, hearty, "strong like bull" guys and as I did when my Mom
was sick, I think again about the fortitude of the human (and animal -
one of those friends happens to be canine) spirit and will to continue.
I sure wouldn't want to be in your shoes, Steve. However, if ever I was,
I sure hope I could find it within myself to brave the road ahead as you
and my other 2 friends have. Your journal has obviously reached out to
many, many people. I'm very touched by the way you have allowed us all a
window to peek thru to view a very personal situation and watch you go
through it. Also, how you've welcomed strangers to hold out their hands
and grab onto yours and ride this out together.
Someone asked if the Heart Foundation knew of your website. Perhaps they
should. It is very inspirational. Not just to those who are ill & facing
surgery or in recovery, but also, those of us who are just standing by
the wayside, watching and waiting for our recovering loved ones. Perhaps
to even face our own health issues later in our lives. Your journal,
though FOR the heart, is very much, FROM the heart. And it serves ALL of
our hearts, a whole lotta good.
Much love to you, Dory & the girls, Tessa
December 8, 1998
It was a big weekend in my step by step trek back to normalcy. We were able to get away from Toronto to spend a long weekend in Niagara-On-The-Lake for the first time since before the surgery. I survived the almost two hour road trip quite easily and we arrived in time to make it for the Fools' Lunch at the Dog and Drum. We entered the restaurant wearing pig masks and rubber pig noses. Many of our buddies were sitting at the bar and cracked right up when they say our silly faces. It was good to see everyone again and I know that some of them made a special effort to be there for lunch because they knew I'd be there.
It was basically a pretty quiet weekend at Dory Cottage, (compared to our normal standards) consisting of just a few visits with friends, some good meals and basic lazing around. The weather was unseasonable with highs of almost 70 degrees.
Another milestone for me however, was driving for the first time. I started with a short trip to the grocery store. And on the second day, ventured into St. David's and St. Catherines to start my Christmas shopping. It felt real good to be out and about again. The driving still takes a lot out of me though, so I don't make any plans to do much after a drive.
December 10, 1998
Back in Toronto this week, pretty uneventful, but productive. Did some more shopping as Christmas approaches. It was easy as I had everything planned out as to what I was getting so I was in an out of the mall very quickly. (More stress management.) Stopped by the office to read my mail and say hello. My brother Larry who has been running the show in my absence took me out to our favorite Chinese restaurant, Federick's (no 'r'!) which is just down the street from the office. We had our usual, Haka sweet noodles and garlic chicken. This is a most amazing restaurant run by a group of Chinese guys who had restaurants in India and Europe. The food is not your typical American-style Chinese food, but very diverse with spicy Malaysian dishes and different styles of food representing the many various regions of China and India as well. It is very popular and we had to share a table with two others as the place was packed.
Again, I was exhausted when I got home and my ribs and left shoulder were and still are extremely sore again. Perhaps I'm doing too much. I can't help it. I just can't sit around anymore. It's just about "Drew time" so gotta go...
Friday, December 11, 1998
We had planned to go to Niagara-On-The-Lake today, but we both looked at each other and said, "nah." That is the luxury of every day being "the weekend". We have no real plans or schedule and are just taking things one day at a time. Whatever happens, happens. We'll go tomorrow, early, so we can see the Santa Claus parade. The Shaw Festival float is supposed to be real good with a moving snow man (built and automated by our Herb).
It was another gorgeous day here in Toronto today and I was driving around with the windows open as I ventured out for more Christmas errands. I spent at least an hour at the beautiful huge LCBO main liquor store downtown. They have stuff there that you can't get at any other store in the city. They even do free gift wrapping! It was fun.
Afterward I made it back to the suburbs for some mall walking and some more gifty stuff. Once again, same old story, I was wacked when I got home and settled into bed to watch an old Who's Line Is It Anyway.
Yesterday, I made a nice little pasta thing for Dory and Steve Oprici who happened to be in town for the day. We had a nice time and will probably meet up again in Niagara-On-The-Lake this weekend.
From: "Wells, Darcy" <[email protected]>
Subject: bum tickers
Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 12:08:32
Steve,
Just spent the past hour scanning your website (my boss would be thrilled),
and felt compelled to drop you a note. I too am a member of "the club,"
having had my aortic valve replaced 20 months ago. The reason for my
net-surfing this morning, is because, unfortunately I received the awful
news yesterday that I may need another operation "sooner rather than
later"...(I guess that's a universal phrase used by doctors...just to keep
us guessing)! I'm sitting here in my office waiting for my doc to call to
let me know the results of his comparison of the echo they did yesterday to
the one done back in June. However, both of my cardiologists seemed pretty
sure after my visit with them yesterday that my "new" valve (I have a
homograph...human valve) is leaking, and the leak seems to be getting worse
quickly. Dr. Anderson wants me to have a TEG on Monday...you remember, the
test that you said sucked!! Fortunately, they have offered to put me under
for the procedure...and I quickly accepted that offer! The TEG should give
them a better look at exactly where the leak is, and how severe it is.
However, my gut is telling me that they're not kidding about needing surgery
"sooner rather than later." Although, I had been feeling great after the
surgery, for the past 6 months or so, I've begun to experience symptoms
similar to those before my surgery (fatigue, shortness of breath, heavy
feeling in my chest).
Anyway, as I sit and wait...resisting the temptation to pick up the phone
and call him, I just decided to check out some heart related websites.
Amazing how we can find comfort through a computer!!! I really just
happened upon your site...and have enjoyed it a lot...thanks for the grins!
I didn't get all the way through your journal (I really should get something
done here today), but what I read, I enjoyed!!
Glad to hear all is going well with your recovery. I've bookmarked your
site and plan to check in with you regularly. Will also keep you posted on
my situation...it does help to share with others who can relate...even if
only through a screen and keyboard.
Thanks for sharing (say hi to Dory and the pooches)!
Darcy Wells
From: [email protected]
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1998 22:06:05 EST
Subject: The Bum Ticker Pages - PIG O MY HEART
Hi Steve!
Haven't heard anything from you lately? Are you doing ok? Or are you up and
at 'em so much now that you've forgotten all about it?
One thing that you have not mentioned--I have read that open heart surgery can
cause subtle personality changes. Have you had any such experience, other
than the usual post-operative let down?
How is your wife holding up? I'm sure she is glad the surgery is over. I'm
not sure of my family's feelings. I know they are worried, but I am the
strong, resilient one so I have to keep the stiff upper lip, so to speak.
Ergo, not much is said at this point.
Hope this finds you better and better! Isn't 6 weeks the "bewitching" date?
I.e., pretty much back on top although not totally. A couple of weeks or so
ago, you indicated you really didn't feel that well--is there a difference
now? Sure hope so--playing the guitar much?
You are still in my prayers! Later.....Susan
Sunday, December 13, 1998
Based on the above e-mail from Susan and a few more from others who wondered what's up with me, I guess I better publish this chapter (to the net) sooner than later. I had planned to take another week or so before I did, but I guess not.
We are currently spending another lovely weekend in Niagara-On-The-Lake enjoying the still spring-like weather. On my walk today I saw the green sprouts of crocuses popping out thru the ground and buds on many of the trees (mountain ash and others). Nature is very confused. But I love it.
Watching the Christmas parade here yesterday in forty-five degree sunshine brought back memories to our first parade here four years ago when it was snowy and unbearably frigid. This was much better for me and especially for the kids blowing the trumpet, trombones and tubas in the many brass bands. I'm sure Santa's toes were a lot warmer too.
After the parade we were visited by friends Herb, James and Sylvia Brown, (who had parked in our driveway for the parade) and we partook in espressos and Guinness. Later we went to the Dog and Drum for an early dinner with Hank, (the singer and bandleader of Platypus Rex) and his wife Brenda, and were joined by Peter ( the Dog's owner) and Nancy. A good time was had by all but after a couple of hours I was fading fast. It is amazing how I can be doing so well and then everything just sort of shuts off.
As I relax today with my first glass of single malt scotch since the operation (Mortlach Distillery Signatory Vintage 1988, Sherry Cask, Single Highland Scotch Whiskey, an excellent muscle relaxant for my still sore bones), I toast everyone who has read this journal and who has so kindly written me and kept my spirits up during this life adventure. To all of my new found, and other good friends and family, I wish you all the best Christmas, Chanukah, and a happy new year.
So long for now.
Steve Goldberger,
December 13, 1998
Niagara-On-The-Lake, Ontario, Canada
Updated December 13/98
"Ya, ya, ya. The music pages, I know. I promise I'll check 'em out." Sure, that's what you said last chapter! Please check out my music site, listen to some
sample sound clips of my songs and please order one of my CD's. I'd really appreciate your support. Thanks, Steve.
Next page - More Mail December 15/98