Yes, the gift baskets keep on coming. Hey, what happened to all the fruit? I guess after reading or hearing about the last chapter, people have stopped sending fruit baskets. Now it's candy, chocolates, cookies, plants and flowers. What? You tryin' to send me back into the hospital? The house is starting to look like a funeral parlor! I need health food!!!!! Ha. Just kidding. I love the attention. It continues to be quite overwhelming and touching. The truth is I'd rather people make a donation to a heart related charity instead, if they really feel the need to send something. This life experience has shown me how I am truly fortunate to find out how many people actually care about me and Dory. I know that many folks are alone in the world and would give anything to have half the friends and family that I do. It is a true life gift. As the years go by, I will do my best never to forget all of this and try to be there for others as they have been for me.
It was a beautiful sunny fall day (low 40's) here in Toronto and I ventured outward for my second walk down the street. The fresh cool air and sun on my face felt real good but I tired quickly and went back in. I had another little walk just a few minutes ago on the treadmill and I feel good about that. I have never been one for routine regimented programs. I've tried the fitness thing and always dropped out. I was very happy to finish high school and move right into life without university, as formal education was not my bag. (Besides I just had to on the road in my rock & roll bluegrass band!). I have never even been structured in my musical learning. Just ask any musician friend of mine that wants to rehearse. Not my thing. So, I am a little apprehensive about my so called "Cardiac Rehabilitation Program". Nevertheless, I know that being the active, restless person that I am, I will be ok if I do it at my own irregular and impulsive pace.
I have found out that actually walking in a straight steady line is a lot different than just moving around the house from room to room, chair to sink, bed to fridge.... And that I really have to get on the walking program consistantly if I want to get better. After a few minutes of walking I can feel the heat building in my chest beneath the incision and it feels like things are gurgling around in there. Sometimes at night while at rest I feel the same thing. Like stuff is working real hard to heal up. The dry scabby stuff on my scar is mostly all gone and that will be a treat when it stops rubbing against my clothing. The new skin underneath is so soft - like a baby's bum.
Sometimes at night just before I drift off to sleep, I can actually feel my heart just a poundin' throughout my entire body. It feels like it might just jump right out of my chest it's going so hard. They say this is normal, as it is working real hard to heal.
In the reading materials, they also warned about the different mood swings heart patients typically go thru. Especially depressed and emotional states. I have experienced the depression for short periods from time to time, but being the upbeat person that I am (geez!), I can usually shake those moods. However, yesterday afternoon I was taking a lazy break and while watching Rosie O'Donnell, I just burst into tears for no reason. I couldn't stop it no matter how funny Rosie got. Then her next guest was Christopher Reeve and I had to leave the room. There was no way I would ever stop the tears if I had to watch that courageous and amazing man. It was just one of those things. Just as they had warned me about. My body and its trauma taking control over my emotions and just lettin' it fly. I felt better and sort of cleansed when it was all over but am not looking forward to the next little episode.
Rod Hillier, Carpenter Guy friend from Niagara On The Lake visited this morning and he brought me a video of BABE. A little pig humour there. Speaking of pigs,
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1998 20:34:32 -0800
From: Victor Waese
Subject: Re: Bum Ticker Update - # 13
Steve: What wonderful news about your new appreciation for pigs...for
years now people have been saying to me: "you're a real pig", and what
they just don't appreciate is it is the pigs like me who are keeping all
this together...here's to the pigs of this world! Ever since I was a
child I had a special appreciation for chinese food, and it was always
the spare ribs...barbecued spare ribs...pigs...surely by eating them I
was showing the greatest affection possible...terrific news about your
coming through this in flying colours. Best wishes for continuing
improvement.
Regards
Victor Waese
I'm not sure if anywhere in here I thanked the excellent hospital staff at Toronto General Hospital. They were all real good to me (except for Big Bertha on my last night- but she shall remain nameless) and I appreciate it whole heartedly (excuse the pun). I would also like to thank Doctor Tirone David and the fine members of his team including Surgeon Dr. Goran Dellgren, Nancy Walton and Eric Degen. Their professional and compassionate manner eased my mind throughout the entire hospital stay. Despite how nice everyone at the hospital was, thank you guys for letting me out a day early! I swear, if I had to stay another night I would have taken a turn for the worse. Freedom has been the best medicine.
From: "Richard Barbour"
Steve, congratulations!!!!! been following your journal, it's really great. wanted to welcome you to the 'zipper' club. I mean they did put in a zipper in your chest just in case didn't they? Just kidding. glad to hear how well you are doing. it will get a lot better soon.
Rich and Terry Barbour
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